Date: Sat, 24 Feb 1996 07:39:05 -0600 From: "John Field" To: Multiple recipients of list Subject: [TORG:140] AD&D [Satire] Picture the scene... [A role-playing situation.] 'Hey, are you gonna play? I want to bring in Fred, my 21st Level thief-mage...' 'No, we're playing Torg.' 'Torg? Is that like AD&D?' 'No, it's nothing like AD&D. It's not even like the clones.' 'EErrgghh! Not AD&D!' So, to pacify all those Paladin-playing, Mage-collecting, munchkin- rules-raping players [:) * lots] here is... TORG AD&D!! Not a AD&D-like setting, but that game itself... Background: whatever AD&D side you want to play. Unfortunately, Torg doesn't have stuff like '17th Level Bard Instruments' or 'The Falcon Inn, Dravenport: The Cellar's Third Cupboard' type handbooks, or anything like that, so you'll have to make do. Axioms: Magic 20 Wish parsers are available, but unreliable. Perhaps due to the Law of Min-Maxing, AD&D's highest axiom can be twisted to perform almost anything, irrespective of wht the axiom and limits of magic should allow. Note that all spells are impressed, and tend to function more like technology than magic [see the Law Of Amerika below]. Social 13 Spiritual 19 Technological 14 World Laws: The Law Of Min-Maxing 'Fred's such a a cool character! Look at these stats: Str 23, Con 19, Dex 14, Cha 5, Int 3, Wis 2!!' All AD&D characters suffer from 'rule-rape' and 'min-maxing': crunching those numbers to get the best deal possible, and/or a ludicrously unbalanced character. Game effects include: Out of a character's seven Attributes: The best one gains +2 to the stat whilst under AD&D reality: The 2 next best ones gain +1: The next best one is unchanged: The next 2 worst ones are at -1: The worst attribute is at -2. Player's choice if there is a tie in the stats. Skills are unaffected. Example: Ravenhair the Mage-Bard Dark Half-Elf, Half Troll 'normally' has these stats: DEX 8 STR 10 TOU 9 PER 6 MIN 9 CHA 11 SPI 6 Whilst under the effect of the LoM-M: DEX 7 STR 11 TOU 10 PER 4 MIN 9 CHA 13 SPI 5 In specific circumstances, modifiers & on-the-spot rules apply if the player can come up with reasons why they should get a positive modifier, etc., *but only* if it depends on a strict and anal-retentive interpretation of the rules *or* bizarre leaps of logic in their applying: 'Fred falls 1600 metres and is as flat as a pancake'. 'NO HE ISN'T! Looking at the falling rules, I say that I can actively resist [I can actively dodge, so why not?]... spending possiblities and cards, I have a toughness total of 34!' 'OK, so he's unharmed.' 'He springs up and gets an unarmed combat total of... 26, beating up the 13 guards that are down here!' And so on.. Law Of Dungeoneering 'So, where's Fred now?' 'He's in the Grand Hall of the King of Kings [Cha 18, Int 17, Wis 19, Str 2, of course.] The walls are of ornate oak, and the curtains are of the finest silk... [etc.]' Where are the doors? How big's the room?' 'The Grand Hall is 300 feet by 50 feet, exactly. Ten doors line each wall. The main door is made from solid silver.' 'What do the other doors look like?' 'Just doors.' Yep, you guessed it. In Torg: AD&D, all buildings, courts, market places, stalls, tables, trees, in fact virtually everything is a nice standard size: a multiple of 10 feet in any direction, and preferably the same length each way. In addition, everything seems to be designed the same way, too: all doors look the same, apart from *really important* doors: which all look the same, too, as they all have important carvings, made out of precious stuff [which nobody ever robs]... A side-effect of this Law is that sterotypes abound: for evry muscle-bound babarian 'from the Northern mountians', there's a haughty elf, or a grumpy dwarf, or a shining Knight with a horse called Swiftwind, or... Again, you get the picture. The Law Of Amerika [better name, anyone?] 'Fred's party is so kool! It's got Bob, a dwarf who came up with the idea of selling insurance and is now so rich he can afford to go adventuring, Xyycstrracil the Elven mage who's developed an 'Imitate Machine Gun' spell, and Klelven, a druid who's in tune with the Universe and totally at peace with reality: but likes to spend his time beating up on 0-level sword-fodder, 'cause he gets bored.' This World Law is similar to that of the Star Trek reality [coming soon!]. Basically, it states that despite AD&D having axioms unlike Core Earth, despite having a different society and histroy to Core Earth, and despite being basically totally different to Core Earth, things nevertheless have a parallel to late 20th century America. Perhaps as a reaction to the World Law, occasionally something totally bizarre will happen: everybody the players meet want to be adventurers, the lowly Orc that they fight just happens to own a +5 sword, or people have totally unpronouncable names. OK, so it's more a 'Bad Role-playing' cosm than an AD&D cosm... [End] - "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." Psalm 137:9, The Bible (King James Version)